Author’s Note
I officially entered my submission to the Theodore Roosevelt National Park Photo Contest!
Thanks to your wonderful suggestions after the last post, I narrowed down my list to these two photos. If only I could have submitted more!
Why Did the Buffalo Cross the Road?
Petrified Palette Under Popcorn Clouds
How do you like the titles?
The contest itself is small, but I’ll be happy even if I don’t win anything. I’m just proud of myself for actually following through and entering a submission. Thanks to you, I didn’t put this off until the last minute and risk not entering at all.
It’s nice being held accountable ;)
A lot more contests are opening up that I’m excited to submit to, but I’m waiting until after we finish our trip to actually think about that. Next time I’ll have way more photos to sift through and decide between, so it’s nice getting the chance to practice the process. Who knows, I might just need your help again when the time comes.
Regardless, thank you for being the motivation I needed to follow through! It really is appreciated. Now on with the show!
Best,
Kes the Photobean
Craters of the Moon
National Monument, Idaho
by Kes
June 21st, 2022
Craters of the Moon could easily be a candidate for national park status in my eyes. Here in southern Idaho sits a collection of old lava flows that you can see from space -- seriously, go look for it on Google Maps. Instead of one large volcano, however, you’ll find that these ancient flows came from a series of deep fissures in the Earth’s crust. This 52-mile long Great Rift is aptly named. Beginning 15,000 years ago, lava rose from these fissures and spilled out onto the plains, periodically stopping then starting again as recently as 2,000 years ago. As a result, lava flows of varying age cover this portion of the Snake River Plain in a black blanket of basalt.
Why would such a large crack in the Earth’s crust occur here of all places? Tectonic forces, of course! With a combination of subduction forces and basin and range rifting, a hotspot of magma welled underneath the thin and spreading crust of Craters of the Moon. As these plates shifted and took the landmass with it, this hotspot moved from southern Idaho and has now settled miles away. Any guess on where it could be now? Don’t worry, I’ll give you a hint. This hotspot is now the center of a huge super volcano, which also happens to be this nation’s very first national park -- Yellowstone!
Craters of the Moon National Monument is a unique and special place that I hold dear to my heart, and I can’t wait to show you why.
Driving beside old lava flows is always so exciting. I love imagining that the sharp rocks are still molten and gooey, oozing from the Earth like hot toothpaste. Looking at the small cinder cones that dot the horizon, I can’t help but wonder. What would this place have looked like thousands of years ago when the lava was still hot?
Though I’ll never get to see the sight myself, other people have. Thousands of years ago, the Northern Shoshone almost certainly witnessed some volcanic eruptions. Their migration path would have passed through this foreboding land, granting them the opportunity to see the Great Rift in action. They even have an oral creation story about Craters of the Moon:
“Long ago, a huge serpent left its bed where the Snake River is now, and coiled itself around a large mountain to sun itself. After several days, thunder and lightning passed over and aroused the serpent’s wrath. Angered, it began to tighten its coils around the mountain. Soon the rocks began to crumble. The pressure became so great that the stones began to melt. Fire came from the cracks and liquid rock flowed down from the mountain. At last, the fire burned itself out; the rocks cooled off; the liquid rock became solid again . . .”
To bear witness to such massive changes in the Earth must have been horrifying and breathtaking all at once.
Though molten rock is understandably destructive, I think it’s amazing how life can find a way to thrive.
Our first hike took us on a nicely paved path atop solidified lava. The sun’s rays bounced off the shiny black rock with intensity, not a tree in sight to lend protection. Thankfully, we didn’t have to walk very far before waltzing into the cool embrace of an open lava tube.
This massive opening into the ground could easily have fit a few cars inside of it. The air also felt at least 10 - 15 degrees cooler, which was a nice change from the afternoon heat. It’s hard to believe that underground rivers of molten rock could create such vast cave systems. I craned my neck to peek at the ceiling, then down at my feet. Small drips resembling icicles dotted the roof above. Patterns formed by flowing lava decorated every inch of rock around us.
I felt like we stood in a cathedral fashioned by fire.
The lava created absolutely mesmerizing patterns in the rock.
Yes, I'll admit that the cavern exit was slightly less elegant. But only slightly.
Our next day’s adventure started in the Jeep on a dirt road. There, we would drive to a small kipuka, or an isolated piece of land that a lava flow cut off from the surrounding area. Kipukas are special because they act as snapshots in time, capturing what the sagebrush steppes in this area looked like thousands of years ago.
The edge of a lava flow in front of an old cinder cone. Kipukas are usually areas of higher elevation where the river of lava can’t reach.
If you asked me, dirt roads are one of the best ways to travel around and see an area. For one, other people tend to avoid them. Pair that solitude with the inability to drive faster than 30 miles an hour, and you have yourself an afternoon chock full of adventure. For some reason, views get a lot better when there isn’t a sign telling you what to look at.
Unbeknownst to us, our dirt road wound its way through massive fields of wildflowers. In full bloom, the flowers coated the hills of ancient cinder cones in a film of vibrant color. Purples and yellows and pinks and whites clouded my vision. I barely even noticed anything else beyond my window other than the next patch of color that demanded my attention.
We followed one route until there simply wasn’t a road to follow anymore. A subtle tire path was left behind, the only evidence of our small detour.
Finally, around midday, we reached the trailhead. After trudging through wilderness, I was surprised to actually find a sign marking the trail: “Carey Kipuka.” The hike followed an old road that hugged the edge of the flow. It obviously hadn’t been used in quite some time because sagebrush the size of Sam grew right in the middle. After walking along the tire tracks without any sign of a trail through the lava rock, we shrugged and began to clamor up the rocky slopes.
Pick a trail, any trail!
The closer we were to the edge of the flow, the more plants were growing in the cracks. Their green hues stood in contrast against the purple-black rock.
Even the lichen grew vibrantly against the basalt.
Hiking across lava rock without a trail is no easy task. Every step must be planned, otherwise a fall onto the loose, sharp rocks is inevitable. The sun was relentlessly hot and, save for a tiny umbrella, there was no shade to hide under. Occasionally we had to reroute ourselves to avoid small ravines where lava tubes crumbled.
I had a blast.
Ancient pottery or mysterious rock? My vote is for the rock.
So. Close.
After what felt like hours of roaming through rocky wasteland, we finally reached Carey Kipuka. We made sure to rid our shoes of any hitchhiking seeds before stepping onto the kipuka, then made the ascent up its small hill.
I never thought I'd see grass again.
Of course, we couldn't just stop at the edge.
I love how twisted each sagebrush looks in this shot. It’s almost as if they’re posing for me.
To my delight, there were plenty of wildflowers to fawn over at the top as we took a break to eat.
We even made a friend! Meet Wormy Junior. His baby blue fur and orange antenna blended in perfectly with our backpack.
Admittedly, I wish I were a botanist so I could fully appreciate the novelty of any rare plant species we saw. For now I’m perfectly content with oohing and ahhing at everything I see.
Just before leaving the kipuka, we saw a line of bright red rock winding its way through the lava field. So there is a trail! I won’t say exactly how much time it cut off from our trek, but it was enough to feel like salvation.
The end of our trail had a peculiar landmark. This pillar of rock was a vent for the lava when it was liquid. Now in solid form, the old vent looks like a friendly face who’s glad to see us.
What Makes
the Perfect Hot Spring?
On our way to Washington, we spent a couple of days in one of Idaho’s national forests. There we scouted out three different hot springs in the search for the perfect dip.
The first hot spring we found was scalding hot. Boiling streams trickled down from the steep river banks, leaving a trail of happy orange microbes on their way down. Where the streams met the icy river, Sam and I spent the better part of an hour trying to make the water palatable. Testing out the water in our little pool, the sensation was . . . weird. The hot spring water refused to mix with the cold river water, instead the two just coexisted. As a result, my foot was simultaneously cooked whilst full of pins and needles. Very weird indeed.
Our second hot springs were quite relaxing. Countless rock rings were assembled to capture the spring water on its way to the river. Somewhere along this labyrinth, the water cooled off enough to be quite pleasant. I could have been there all day if my stomach hadn’t decided to rudely interrupt my tranquility.
How could the last spring be any better?
The next morning we woke up early to maximize our spring time. The crisp morning air was cool enough to really soak in the warmth of our third and last hot springs. This pleasant shallow pool was drenched in the chilly shade of the surrounding mountains. Yet, as the sun rose higher in the sky, I watched the shadows shrink. The stronger the sun became, the faster the shadows shrank, as if frightened by the strength of our star’s heat. Finally, the first rays of light somersaulted into our pool, finally making it too hot to soak. Darn.
As we were packing up to leave, we realized that there were more pools to explore. Better yet, there were waterfalls of hot water rushing into the river just begging to be splashed in. Yeah, we’re definitely coming back.
And, after a full day of writing and editing for this lovely blog, we did just that!
Yeah, we definitely needed some relaxation after all that work.
This mysterious trail led us to some seriously magical springs.
I mean, seriously, who can pass this up?
As I sat in those springs, I let the sound of the raging river drown out all other noises. For a moment, I lost myself in the dancing lights underneath the warm, crystal clear water. There had to be almost 50 people enjoying those springs right there with me, but I didn’t mind. I was in my happy place.
Hello Goodbye Washington
by Kes
June 26th, 2022
Oh Washington, how I’ve missed you.
As you may remember, I went to college in Seattle. Though most of my four years was spent exploring the city, I made sure to take plenty of trips throughout the state. Sam even spent a summer with me in Seattle and we made sure to camp every single weekend. By the time I graduated, I had already visited all three of Washington’s national parks.
What part does that leave the good ol’ Evergreen State to play in our Gap Year theatre? Sadly, a very small one.
I haven’t been back in the state since I graduated in 2020 at the height of the pandemic. I so badly wanted to go to Seattle, see old friends, eat good Korean food, and visit the bars I never had the chance to drink in. Alas, I’ll have to go back on my own time. A wedding and a funeral, planned two weeks apart in very different parts of the country, complicated our schedule enough to put Washington on the chopping block.
Although our time in this beautiful state would amount to a total of five hours, I made each second count.
We met up with my dear friend and old college roommate, Chelsea! You might remember her from when she, Taylor, and Phillip visited us in Arizona to see the Grand Canyon. Her home in central Washington is covered in fields of fruit and I couldn’t resist setting up a berry-picking date with her.
We met up at the blueberry farm and got right down to business. Buckets in hand, we fell right back into our old habits of chatting about everything and nothing. I almost forgot there were bushes between us.
In a way, I was glad that most of the berries weren’t ripe yet. If they were, I would have had twice the bags and half the fridge space. Sure, I would have eaten every single one before they went bad, but my body is glad it didn’t come to that.
After a long morning of picking berries under the sun, we ate at what is quite possibly the best Mexican restaurant in Washington. Their salsa made Sam, a die-hard hot sauce fanatic, almost cry from the spice. Never one to shy away from pain, he ate every bite. (And yes, he made me add that last part.)
Thankfully, the fun didn’t stop there. Even though we were leaving Washington that afternoon, Chelsea and her boyfriend Manny were tagging along to camp with us for the next two nights.
I was so excited to camp with these two that the three hour drive felt like nothing.
Our destination? Oregon’s Mt. Hood, one of the huge volcanoes that make up part of the Cascade Mountain Range.
Once we found a good forest road to explore for campsites, we all piled into Chelsea’s car to do some scouting. One dead end after another deflated our hopes of a finding nice campsite. Maybe we’ll just have to settle for a paid campground.
Miraculously, on our last try before giving up, we found it. At the end of a long and winding road sat the most perfect little campsite.
A rare clearing in the dense trees gave us the best view of Mt. Hood, right there at camp. Talk about lucky!
Different parts of the day brought out the different faces of Mt. Hood. From pink sunset reflections to a waterfall that can only be seen for an hour after 11AM, I could have stared at that mountain all day.
Shoutout to Chels for taking this awesome panorama of our campsite.
Just down the road from camp was a fun trail that took us to the bottom of a waterfall.
The falls had to be at least 100ft high. The water’s steep descent shot out a constant spray of mist that shone in the sunlight. I’m not exaggerating when I say this was the most beautiful waterfall I’ve ever seen.
Thank you Chels for taking this epic shot of Sam and I.
This is the photo I was taking.
I wish I had more photos of our time together, but I was really scraping the bottom of the barrel just to find these ones. I guess that’s what happens when you have fun with the people you love.
Thank you both for taking time off of work and letting me steal you away for a weekend. I can’t wait to do it again.
The day after we said our goodbyes, I left Sam and the Teardrop behind for a flight to Wisconsin to attend my Grandma Meow’s funeral. I won’t be writing about my time there for obvious reasons, but if you’d like to learn a little more about this wonderful woman, please read Week 6: Grandma Meow, This One Is For You. Writing this for the blog helped me process a lot of emotions I hadn’t gotten to deal with -- she passed on my last day of work, two weeks before our first night of the Gap Year. After reading the post for a second time, I feel a lot of different things. I can’t help but wonder which blog post she would have liked the best or what kind of comments she would leave every week. But, above all else, I know for a fact that she would be one of my biggest cheerleaders on this trip. And even though she isn’t here to say so, I know she’d be more proud than ever.
Thank you, dear reader, for giving me the space to remember her in my own way.
It means so much more than you know.
Oregon,
the Wild and Beautiful
by Sam the Other Bean
Life on the road is never all peaches and cream. This fact, moreso than at any other point along the Gap Year, was true during our time in Oregon. Up to this point, if you picked any number of recent memories from my brain and took a gander, you would undoubtedly notice only one constant: Kes. Through thick and thin, rain and sun, from one end of the country to the other, I could always count on Kes to be by my side. Yet here I was, dropping off my travel buddy at the airport and being forced to continue on this portion of the Gap Year without her.
What would I do with so much time alone? As much as I’ve travelled, I’ve basically never travelled alone. As a result, I was less than confident in my ability to have a good time exploring places by myself that I had originally planned to see with Kes. On top of that was the simple fact that I was going to have to set up camp and crawl into the Teardrop, typically a time filled with laughter and conversation, in dead silence. I had to do that in a similar situation several years ago, and I vividly remember never wanting to feel that feeling again.
Lucky for me I was not doomed to wandering Oregon all by my lonesome. I had two aces up my sleeve - Tyler and Ben, whom you might remember from our time in Taos or Iowa. Without much convincing at all these two decided to come out and visit me for the nth time this year. While I still hated the fact that Kes was leaving for the next several days, my fear of loneliness had quickly been replaced by excitement to see two of my closest friends again.
All of the time spent planning for this period in Oregon passed in the blink of an eye and suddenly I found myself waving goodbye to Kes at a little tiny airport in Redmond, Oregon. I parked in the cell phone lot for about an hour, then drove to exact same spot to pick up Tyler and Ben. I think surreal is an accurate term to describe the feeling when I saw them waiting at the front of the airport.
Whatever the feeling, it didn’t last for long as I jumped out of the Jeep and gave them both big hugs. I was, and still am, so thankful for these two for always jumping at the opportunity to hang out with me. It just blows my mind that I have friends and family that are willing to fly halfway across the country to be with Kes and I. I’m forever thankful for everybody who’s travelled to see us for being a part of this journey!
Of course we had to get our fill of groceries before setting up camp. Little did I know that I was actually going to have three passengers with me on this trip: Ben, Tyler, and the massive amount of food they require to function.
We ended up making camp about 30 minutes outside of Crater Lake National Park. I forgot how satisfying it can be to create your own little camping compound when you’re camping with other people.
Tyler and Ben had no issue taking care of the chores that usually fall on my shoulders, like clearing out the firepit. While nice at first, I eventually had to force them to sit down, relax, and enjoy the moment. I guess that goes to show that I have actually mellowed out during the Gap Year.
That evening Tyler gave me something very special that he had brought all the way from Fort Collins - a Cafe Mex burrito! These burritos were a staple throughout my time in college and I have yet to find anything that compares. I pleaded with Tyler for weeks to bring me one of these burritos, but I didn’t actually think my begging would work. Thank you for this treat Ty!
As night rolled in I made myself comfortable in an unfamiliar setting. I wanted my friends to experience the comfort and luxury of sleeping in the Teardrop, and as such I opted to sleep in a hammock for the next couple nights. Tyler got the first night in the Teardrop, since I’m actually planning on building him a Teardrop of his own after the Gap Year. Here’s what he had to say about his stay:
“In late June, Ben and I were out visiting Sam to check out Crater Lake National Park. During the trip, he gave us the opportunity to test out the Teardrop for ourselves overnight. Once you’re inside it feels far more spacious than you’d expect just from looking at it from the outside. You have plenty of room to fully lay out as well as sit up. I absolutely got my best sleep of the trip that night as a full mattress was far superior to the blow-up pad I had brought along. I appreciated not having to worry what the weather was going to do over night. Unlike an ultralight tent, I was completely sheltered from all the elements. In addition, there were some nice interior features like having DC charging built in, dimmable lighting and an abundance of well thought out storage space. Overall, the Teardrop felt quite homey in a small footprint. I’m very much looking forward to working with Sam to build a teardrop camper for myself!”
I’m not going to lie, it was strange waking up the next morning. Not only was I waking up to a view of a Teardrop from the outside, but I was also brought out of my slumber by a strange noise below me. At first I thought it might be my stomach growling or two bears wrestling. As I lay there listening, I soon realized this noise was much more benevolent. Ben was simply trying to wiggle his way out of the hammock below me.
Maybe letting Tyler sleep in the Teardrop wasn’t completely selfless. I’ve wanted to sleep in a hammock ever since I got one a few years back, and I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to bunk it with Ben during their visit.
I was surprised by how quickly everybody had gotten up and ready to go that first morning. I think we were all excited to get a start on the only thing on our agenda that day. Today we were visiting Crater Lake National Park!
Let me premise this by saying that Kes and I actually visited Crater Lake several years ago. As a result I knew what to expect from this amazing place, but Tyler and Ben did not. As we drove to the park I couldn’t help but to pepper them with questions about their expectations. Ben doubted that this lake was actually in a crater while Tyler was sure the lake was in a crater but didn’t know much else. Either way, I knew their minds’ were about to be blown.
Crater Lake
National Park, Oregon
by Sam
June 30th, 2020
Up until you actually see the lake, Crater Lake National Park seems like just an unassuming extension of the surrounding National Forest. The road starts out flat, then slowly starts climbing up a large bulge in the Earth. Even as the road reaches its steepest section its difficult to tell where exactly you’re heading. It seems that at any point you’ll reach a saddle and start heading down the other side of the mountain.
It’s not until you reach the top of the road and see a parking lot that this illusion begins to unravel. In the distance you can see other mountains, but the area between these peaks and those peaks could hide anything. Only when you actually walk up to the crest can you see this in-between area.
Suddenly you can see everything. Suddenly you can see one of the most beautiful lakes on planet Earth.
Even having been to Crater Lake before I was blown away by my second visit. This lake seems like something straight out of a fantasy book. How cool is it that in this volcanic crater exists one of the clearest and deepest lakes in the world?
I think Ben’s stance says it all in this picture. We all stood there silent for a minute just trying to take in this massive lake.
Of course we weren’t satisfied just looking at Crater Lake from above. There’s only one trail down to the lake, and we weren’t going to pass up the opportunity to hike it.
It’s almost 700 feet from the top of the rim to the water’s edge, but man is it worth the hike. Seeing the water up close is an experience like no other. For me it’s both alluring and terrifying. Crater Lake is the gold standard of swimming holes - that is if you can get past the fact that the bottom is several thousand feet below the surface and could easily hide a King Kong-sized water serpent.
There’s no better way to enter ice cold water then by jumping in. We spent a good portion of that day cliff jumping, sunbathing, and enjoying each other’s company.
This picture in particular really makes me miss that crisp clear water.
This was pretty much the mood towards the end of the afternoon.
We were pretty tired after getting back to camp, but unfortunately the mosquitoes were not. Luckily my time in the south taught me well and my investment in mosquito nets quickly paid off.
I only had two mosquito nets, so Tyler had to make do with what he had. Honestly I don’t think he was too upset about not being a part of Ben and I’s cutting edge fashion statement.
That night I think we all slept like babies, although Ben was probably a bit more comfortable than Tyler and I. Tonight Ben was sleeping in the Teardrop, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t envious of my own bed. Still, I enjoyed listening to him figuring out his way around the Teardrop and before long I was lulled asleep. Here’s Ben’s review of his stay in the Teardrop:
“If I had to give one word to describe my night in the Teardrop, it would be: magical. I was transported back to when I was a little kid at summer camp. I would spend the whole day wandering around nature, finding fun things to look at, and annoying my friends. After the long day, I returned to camp prepared to make some food disappear. The Teardrop provided all the essentials for cooking. Shamefully, the Teardrop was even better equipped than my own kitchen. Cooking may have been my favorite part of camping, and now I wish I could cook outside at home. After we gobbled up some delicious food and sat by the fire avoiding mosquitoes, it came time for the main event - sleeping in the Teardrop! I was very excited for this, as it would be my only solace from the two goobers I was staying in the woods with. One whole night of peace. As I entered the Teardrop I was greeted by a hundred polaroids of Sam and Kes. While somewhat creepy at first, I soon came to ignore them and slept the best sleep I’ve ever had in the woods. For that I give my stay 5 stars.”
As the sun rose, I once again was welcomed into an unfamiliar setting. This time, however, I was not woken up by somebody sleeping in a hammock below me. No, this time it was my own skin that had betrayed me. Why did it fell as though I had been wrapped in saran wrap and thrown into an oven?
Hearing Ben and Tyler waking up to as much pain as I was in quickly made my mistake crystal clear. Oh, Kes would not be happy about this one. All of us had missed one crucial step before swimming yesterday - sunscreen!
Can you see how red we are in this photo?
If not, you surely can see Tyler’s burn in this picture. And before you ask, no, this tan was not here 24 hours earlier.
Tyler had clearly gotten the short end of the deal on this one. Whereas Ben and I had only a mild glow, Tyler looked as though he had literally been turned inside out. Aside from poking a bit of fun at him, there was really nothing we could do for him. All I could do was hope the hot springs we were going to today would work their healing magic on all of us, but especially Tyler.
Tyler and Ben tell me I say this for every hot springs I go to, but even so, Umpqua Hot Springs was seriously once of the coolest hot springs I’ve been to. The source pools are at about 110 F, and water from these pools trickles into a variety of terraced pools ranging from near 110 F to room temperature. What I really liked about these springs was the patina formed by mineral deposition on the surfaces of all the pools, giving them the facade of existing long before human discovery (all of the pools are, in fact, man made).
We all embraced the healing waters in different ways. I tried my best to fully submerge myself in every pool, while Tyler fought to dunk just his feet in even the coolest of pools. I can only imagine the pain of dipping a searing sunburn into scalding water.
Despite our differing ways of enjoying the pools, I know we all enjoyed each other’s company equally that day.
It seemed as though our time together was ending as soon as it had begun. We had seen a lot and done a lot together, but honestly what I remember the most from Ben and Tyler’s visit was sitting around, beer in hand, chatting and making each other laugh. It also made me so happy that these two were more than willing to get their hands dirty in the galley of the kitchen. By the end of the trip I’m sure they knew the ins and outs of the Teardrop just as well as I do! Thanks again for visiting guys!
Just one of the many strange pictures I have of these two from their trip. They never fail to make me laugh!
Luckily Kes was flying in a day before Tyler and Ben were flying out, so we all got to hang out with each other before venturing on to the next chapter of the Gap Year. Up next Kes and I were traveling to California! During the planning phase of the Gap Year, this part of the trip was so far into the year that I really couldn’t imagine ever actually making it to California, yet here we were.
Join us in the next blog to experience this beautiful state with us, from hiking amongst the tallest trees in the world to soaking up some of that beautiful Cali sun on the beach!
I have to throw in an obligatory picture of us hacky sacking. This hobby has been a guilty pleasure of mine for a long time, and I’m glad that all of my friends are still willing to indulge in it with me when we’re together. (You can see the hacky sack floating close to Kes's left arm.)
Housekeeping
Hi friend,
If you’re new to my page, welcome!
If not, then it’s really nice to see you again :)
If you aren’t on my newsletter and would like to be, you can easily sign up with your preferred email address and bam! You’ll be notified as soon as I post.
As always, I’d love to hear about your favorite photos, moments, or any plain old thoughts you have on our travels so far. Whatever it is, Sam and I love hearing from you.
Without further ado, I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day.
Best,
Kes the Photobean
So much fun and beautiful scenery in this post!! I'd like to turn the photo of your favorite waterfall into a wall mural! And the purple (I think penstemon) flowers against the gold hillside are stunning.
And while I really enjoy reading of Kes and Sam's adventures I believe a year of the three guys would have made for more comedy!!! Glad you all had fun.
Those photo submissions are awesome, and the titles are perfect! That was a super fun camping trip, I'm glad we got to keep you company Sam. I don't know what you would have done without us 🤠